Seven Years and a Slug.

UGH.

Today was day two of tossing and shredding roshambowinery memories that stain like full stench Clorox bleach. The fact that the IRS wants 7 years paper back up of what seems like everything for the chance that they just might come back and scrutinize my record keeping of the past doesn’t seem at all right. I now have to designate a whole padlocked room to this dragon. My son will be a teenager sooner.

7 years worth of documents! I have a piece of paper that tells me to keep all employees W-9’s, payrolls, 1099’s, and even résumé’s. The fact that I can’t even remember some of them by name or even by face from photocopies of their drivers’ licenses?  Jumbled boxes with AR and AP mixed up in packed to the brim cardboard files with Avery labels and folders, and lots and lots of staples, and file clips. Some demon of my past even filed blank paper.  Then again someone even thought it important to save free samples, a few from a hopeful fiberglass installer… I even paid a moving company to transport this junk. Does this mean someone was laughing at me? Or were they covering for a job they were not competent?

I shredded a whole winery history of faded cash register tape with full credit card ##’s, expiration dates, and signatures. 10 years worth of interesting record keeping by a few previous (competent?) controllers, CFO’s, and managers. The staff they are all gone now, which when I go through this death pile I’m reminded, that all this shit is mine now to keep… for 7 more years.

***I am not saying that all roshambo staff was bad. I have been fortunate to know some awesome people who have become friends and have helped me tremendously… You know who you are.

AWWW.

Yep, I yipped like a ninny! Do you know that feeling when you are about to take a step and you know if you do put your foot down… If you do… something will happen and it certainly will be bad.  This morning I almost fell off balance taking that misstep thinking I was going to step on a baby rattlesnake… On inspection, it was a 7-inch yellow and brown speckled banana slug. Terrifying gross and yet it was really cool.  Poor thing was crawling gooey-ly along my crushed gravel driveway.

How did it get there?  It must have hitched a ride on the garbage truck. Every Tuesday at dawn, I hear the trucks come, garbage truck, then recycle truck, and then yard waste truck… Which one did he hitch on? What was he slithering away from? Santa Cruz is really far away for this little guy.  After my startled panic settled. My son Justice just got his perfect new pet.  As I type this “Benjamin” as he is now named is slimily sitting here with me on my desk in his new clear plastic rectangle.